Capturing Warsaw
by Field-Poppies
Summary: Poland loses his heart (Warsaw) and, with the help of some of the other countries, tries to find and capture him. Meanwhile, his capital makes an unlikely friend and together they get into all kinds of mischief. OC Warsaw.


**AN:**

Hello all! If you're someone who doesn't typically read author's notes, I encourage you to do so this time. Both sets of notes (these before the beginning of the story and those at the end) contain useful information. :D

Things to note:

I selected Poland as a character from the drop down list before submitting the fic because I wasn't sure if the fic would show up in searches without a character being selected... Poland is in the fic but is not the main character of the story. This is actually a multi-character fic with a handful of original characters; Warsaw, who is the main focus of the story, plus some other Polish cities (they only have a short scene together though).

Call me crazy (as I do) but I couldn't drop this idea; I decided to have all of the countries refer to each other in their respective languages, as a result each of the countries is called by several names, several different languages in this fic. It sounds complicated but I think I've written this in a way that won't be confusing, plus the names of countries are quite similar in a lot of languages anyway. E.g. Poland, Polen, Pologne, Polonia... There is a glossary at the bottom of the page.

**Warning:**

Contains extremely mild swearing.

Warsaw is rife with boyish attitude and can bring out the worst in some countries. xD

This fic implies that Poland and Lithuania are/were in a relationship but this isn't a LietPol/PolLiet fic.

Ultimately this fic makes no sense...

**Disclaimer: Hetalia Axis Powers and all its respective characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and not me. **

**Warsaw belongs to Poland because he won't agree to joint custody.**

* * *

Lithuania was in the middle of reviewing his paperwork when he felt it. It was brief. A peculiar sensation that moved through his entire body quicker than a light switch being flicked on or off. It was there and then it was gone. Lithuania's brow furrowed and that was the only noticeable sign he gave that something was up. Something was amiss. He vaguely remembered experiencing a similar sensation before and though he wasn't entirely certain of it, he felt like it might have something to do with Poland. Lithuania could often sense what Poland was feeling; if Poland were in pain or experiencing intense emotions then Lithuania usually knew about it, even if they were hundreds of miles apart. The only possible explanation he had for these phenomenal experiences was that they were the residual effects of being part of a commonwealth with Poland in which they had, in effect, merged.

Assuring himself that whatever it was he'd felt couldn't be serious, Lithuania returned his almost undivided attention back to his paperwork. After all, he'd spoken with Poland yesterday evening and the chatty blond had seemed perfectly fine then.

All of the countries had converged in a small yet lofty village in Switzerland for a series of meetings that were to be spread across two weeks. In contrast with its surroundings, the building which they were occupying was huge and much like a grand indoor maze owed to its many rooms. It was a fantastic place in Lithuania's opinion because it allowed him to hide for many hours and get his work done in peace. As long as Poland didn't find him...

* * *

"Why wouldn't you want to update your wardrobe and replace those tacky clothes of yours? I can help you change your look! You could be a fashionista like moi!" France exclaimed to Spain, who looked uncomfortable and slightly peeved by France's rude comments. France had cornered Spain in one of the corridors well over an hour ago and had subjected him to a scathing review of his attire for a significant chunk of their almost one-sided conversation.

"I think you'd look _magnifique_ in blue!" France enthused while Spain sighed, his eyes closed and one hand rummaging through his pockets to find a handkerchief to wipe the beads of sweat from his brow and neck. When Spain opened his eyes he spotted something unusual.

"Is that Polonia? What is he doing?" He asked France, who obviously couldn't answer either of his questions given that he'd not even been aware that anyone else was nearby.

France turned and joined Spain in silently observing their fellow European country creeping along the corridor carrying what appeared to be a huge net. It looked suspiciously like one from the tennis courts. Poland was skulking along the wide hallway, only stopping occasionally to check rooms, peek behind the floor length drapes accompanying each window or to peer through the panes of glass. The pair waited until Poland was within a few steps of them before France asked the questions they both had on their minds; "Pologne? What are you doing? Are you looking for someone or something?"

"No..." Poland mumbled, his face flushed while he answered the latter question and purposefully ignored the first question. He hid the net behind his back; a pointless act given his companions had already seen it in his hands.

"Can we help...?" Spain offered.

"No." Poland said firmly. France and Spain just stared at him blankly, unsure where to go from there. They weren't given a chance to inquire any further into Poland's personal business; "Bye" he blurted before scurrying off.

Only when Poland had completely disappeared from their sight did either of them speak; "Well, that was weird..." Spain commented.

* * *

Russia hummed a tune as he ambled along the corridors with a huge smile on his face. Like Lithuania, Russia had found himself enamoured with this vast, old building and its complex layout because he also liked to hide from people. Well, one person; his sister Belarus. He was quite certain she would never find him as long as he kept on moving, treating avoiding her as a game. He let slip a laugh that was cut short when suddenly, out of nowhere, someone spoke.

"Enjoying ourselves, are we?" A proud male voice echoed down the hall.

Russia's initial thought was that he barely recognized the voice from somewhere and his second thought was that the person was behind him. Although he could tell they were still some distance from him, Russia turned abruptly as though expecting to meet face to face with an attacker.

"I can totally wipe that smile off your face..." The stranger continued. Not a stranger. It was someone Russia knew and feared almost as much as his eccentric sister's affections.

"Varshava..." Russia swallowed hard. He couldn't think of anything else to say and no other words were necessary; now was not the time for speaking but to either be running or fighting...

* * *

Lithuania heard the door open and looked up, watching as a face, only a face, peered through the gap. It was Poland and he looked very surprised to see him. Lithuania was confident that his friend knew that he had a tendency to slip off on his own and hole himself away in unoccupied rooms so he couldn't understand why Poland seemed not to have expected to find him in such a place. Unless he hadn't been actively searching for him... He waited for him to speak.

Poland seemed to want to tell him something; his mouth opened and closed but not a sound came out. Clearly he was holding something back and whatever it might be was difficult to say. Instead he worried his lower lip by nibbling on it. Lithuania noted that he was also avoiding making too much eye contact with him; these were sure signs that the blond was here to deliver some bad news, most likely regarding some calamity he had caused.

Lithuania sighed. "What have you done?"

Attempting to look as casual as possible, Poland forced an awkward grin, placed one hand on his hip while furiously rubbing the back of his head with the other and announced "I've kinda lost my heart." Nervous laughter followed. Anyone else would be confused by what Poland had just said but Lithuania immediately knew what he meant.

"WHAT!?" Lithuania practically screamed. Fortunately for all concerned, Lithuania lacked active volcanoes otherwise they certainly would have simultaneously erupted at that point. "Varšuva got out again?! HE'S LOOSE?!"

"It's Warszawa" Poland corrected him.

"It doesn't matter what we call him!" Lithuania argued.

"Does to me" Poland replied indignantly.

"Stop" Lithuania commanded. "We don't have time to be arguing. We need to find your heart before he does something."

"Pfft. Please. He's not going to do anything; he's probably just playing somewhere..."

"If you think he's behaving so innocently, why are you prowling the building, carrying a net?" Lithuania pointed at the article which was slipping out from under Poland's shirt. Poland fell silent and pouted which meant he had nothing to counter with. The net cascaded out from under Poland's clothing and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Come on, let's go find him quickly." Lithuania urged as he abandoned his work. "That capital of yours is a complete nightmare. He doesn't listen to anyone, not even you, he's almost impossible to control and can be dangerous if he runs into someone he doesn't like." _Someone like me, for example_. Lithuania thought grimly. "He probably already has one innocent country cornered already!"

Lithuania had no idea that his last comment was right, well, half right.

* * *

In another room, lying underneath one of the tables was Sealand. As usual, he'd been forbidden from attending any of the meetings with the 'grown-up' nations and at present he was keeping himself occupied by playing with his numerous action figures. He was bored already and feeling a little lonely. The only reason he was here was because _everyone_ was here and there was no one to keep an eye on him back home. Not that anyone was keeping an on him now... they were all far too busy to keep him company or play games with him.

Sealand suddenly dropped his toys and huffed. "They're all jerks. Especially England..." He trailed off. Complaining always made him feel slightly better in these situations.

"And Latvia, he could've played with me." He grumbled on. "He doesn't look so much older than me and I bet he's not even a real country! I bet he tricked the others into believing he is one."

Sealand shifted to speak directly to one of his Power Rangers. "I could've done the same if I wanted to but I'm really powerful and getting taller and older and don't need to lie." He nonchalantly said to his white ranger.

Then a loud bang startled him.

Sealand lay perfectly still and tried to hold his breath for as long as he could as he listened carefully for the noise, hoping to hear it again. It happened again mere seconds later. And again. And again. It sounded like someone was trying to kick through one of the doors.

"I wonder what's going on?" Sealand whispered as he sat up on his knees. "Maybe someone is trapped?"

Then he let his imagination run wild. "Or maybe an armed assailant has entered the building and is holding everyone hostage!" He leaped to his feet. "I bet they've knocked England and America out cold and the rest of them are tied up and crying!"

The young boy turned to his toys and exclaimed "This is my chance to prove I've got what it takes to be a real country! If I save everyone, they'll have to acknowledge me!"

Sealand quickly crammed all of his action figures back into his backpack and shoved it under a table, planning to return for them later. He then raced towards the door, flung it open and careened down the corridors, searching, using the repetitive thudding noises as his guide.

* * *

As luck would have it, the source of the noise hadn't been too far away from the room Sealand had been playing in. However, the 'assailant' he'd come to defeat wasn't quite what he'd imagined. He'd been expecting some dastardly villain, dressed entirely in black and wielding an impressive weapon and perhaps boasting an army of henchmen. What he found was a strange man hacking at a door with a small hand axe. The man had yet to notice him.

Sealand crept back behind the corner and considered his options. He could challenge the man as he'd originally planned, spy on him for a while as he formulated another plan, or, he could run and find the others and tell them. _What should I do?_

* * *

Meanwhile, in another part of the building but too far away to hear the source of the commotion Sealand had traced, Lithuania was pacing back and forth, anxiously awaiting Poland's return. Twenty minutes into their hunt, the blond had suddenly announced that he knew a way to make his capital come to them but first he would have to acquire some items. He had more or less ordered Lithuania not to move and promised he would return soon.

"I'm back! And I got most of the things!" Poland said, unnecessarily loudly as he suddenly reappeared less than a foot from Lithuania. How he always managed to sneak up on him, Lithuania would never know. How Poland managed to find him again so quickly was a puzzle as well; the building was one huge maze and each floor resembled the last. Lithuania got lost every time he left the sanctuary of his room.

"How did you find me so easily?" Lithuania just had to know.

"Huh?" Poland first responded as though he hadn't heard or understood the question. Then he said; "Oh... I have Lietdar."

"That's not a word. Or a thing! And you can't possibly have a radar that only detects me!" Lithuania argued.

"But I do! It picks up on your stress waves."

Lithuania looked at his hopeless friend in despair. Fine. He'd go along with Poland's silly games.

"If you can detect me then you must be able to do the same with your cities since they're a part of you." Lithuania remarked dryly. "Use this inbuilt radar of yours to find your capital."

"Can't. He blocks me."

"Wha... How can he... You don't have a signal to block! He doesn't have one either! None of us emit signals and you don't have a radar!" Lithuania tired of nonsense far quicker than most other nations, mostly because he heard more than his fair share of it.

Poland simply laughed at him so Lithuania guessed he was making an amusing face again.

"What items did you bring?" Lithuania said suddenly, attempting to get Poland to be sensible and get his mind back on the task at hand. Lithuania's gaze dropped to the items Poland had been holding underneath his arms since his return; a football and a bag which smelt strongly of baked goods.

"Now we just need Węgry and Ukraina!" Poland announced happily.

"Why do we need them? And what are these for?" Lithuania asked, pointing at Poland's haul.

"Bait." Poland said simply, looking pleased with himself.

"... Your plan is to lure your capital out with girls and a football?" Lithuania felt there was a good chance he was going to snap soon... Particularly since Poland was staring at him like he was a simpleton. "This will never work..."

"Why not?!" Poland demanded. He disliked it when people dismissed his 'brilliant' ideas.

"Because he doesn't need _you_ in order to get those things! And in any case, he's avoiding you right now." Lithuania rubbed his temple. He should've known this would be a complete waste of time.

Poland grumpily dropped the ball and the bag of food as Lithuania turned and began to walk away from him. Poland followed in complete silence, so Lithuania knew that he'd managed to annoy him. It was amazing how quickly the blond's mood could turn.

"We could use you as bait..." Poland muttered.

"I'd prefer that we don't..." Lithuania laughed nervously, imagining that Poland would tie him to the nearest tree and yell 'Come and get it!' and knowing his luck, Warsaw would probably appear in a heartbeat, carrying a crossbow.

* * *

As he hid behind a large armchair, Russia wondered why he often attracted the attention of sociopaths and why he so regularly ended up confining himself in a locked room to escape them. He had ended up fleeing from Poland's wayward capital after discovering only one of them was carrying a weapon and, alas! He was not that one. Russia regretted not bringing his metal pipe with him today.

Still, who would have thought Varshava, or Warszawa, as he was called in Polish, would be running around freely? The few times he had met Poland's capital, Russia had thought that he was frighteningly unstable. He was also noticeably more hostile towards him than Poland himself and the fact that he so readily disobeyed Poland made him scarier still; he'd even heard rumours of Warsaw attacking Poland's friends. It was for these reasons that Russia took Poland's threats to make 'Warszawa his capital' seriously.

Russia glanced over his shoulder towards an open window. If he could get back to his room, he could collect the weapons he had smuggled into Switzerland's territory and be back in a couple of hours prepared to go to war with Warsaw. No one would be pleased with his actions, least of all their host, Switzerland, who was still a neutral country despite his tendency to be short-tempered and trigger-happy. Still, someone needed to put that capital in his place and if Poland couldn't rein him in, he would happily do it instead...

* * *

*BANG**CRACK*

Wood splintered and yet another slit-shaped hole began to form in the door he was leisurely swinging his axe at. Warsaw was grinning and savouring every moment of this; toying with Russia was so much fun. He was in such high spirits, he felt like singing or whistling while he 'worked' but he had an image to uphold. By acting like a savage madman in all of his past encounters with his quarry, he'd managed to instil some fear into Russia. To have a serious impact when tormenting the largest country in the world, it was important he maintained his role and play the part perfectly. Warsaw had been quick to notice and exploit the fact that, for unknown reasons, Russia became timid around those who appeared to have mentally cracked.

*BANG*

Luck had been on his side when he'd found Russia unarmed; had the man been carrying a weapon Warsaw would have had second thoughts about making threats and chasing him without the rest of Poland to back him up. _Ah. Polska is going to be mad at me. _

"Hi." A slightly high, male voice piped up.

Warsaw stopped mid-swing and found the owner of the voice to his right. It was a young, blond boy with bright blue eyes and monstrously huge eyebrows and he appeared to wearing a sailor suit.

Sealand, having given into his childlike curiosity, had decided to abandon any ideas he'd had about apprehending the man he'd been observing and planned to just ask him outright what he was up to instead.

Sealand couldn't help but notice that the unknown male looked somewhat familiar. Sealand couldn't be certain because he rarely succeeded in sneaking into meetings therefore most of the nations weren't well known to him but this man did resemble Poland somewhat. He was almost as tall as Poland and appeared to be of a similar age. There were slight differences between them; his eyes were quite stern and blue instead of green and his blond hair was several shades darker than Poland's and it also looked much thicker. He couldn't really tell how the man had his hair styled because most of it was hidden under a brown Gatsby hat and Sealand could only see his bangs which were long and partially concealing his face. When Sealand noticed how intensely the stranger was staring at him, he thought that he looked almost feral and he was certain that if the man smiled, it would reveal that he had fangs, like that Romania guy he'd met yesterday.

Sealand quickly felt inclined to divert his own eyes and glanced at the man's attire instead. What most attracted his attention were the black and silver rosary that was long enough to touch his midriff and the dark grey, almost black, fingerless leather gloves he wore, which seemed to be so tightly fitted, they looked impossible to remove. The accessories eclipsed his clothes which were varied shades of blue or brown. He was sporting a grey-blue, short denim jacket which was unfastened, sleeves rolled up to expose a tan coloured long sleeve t-shirt. Light blue trousers that were cut short, revealed some of the man's lower legs and that he wore brown socks and slip-on leather shoes. Sealand thought that the entire look was odd and yet somehow the man made it work for him.

"What do you want, brat?" Warsaw said as he crossed his arms, his left hand keeping a tight grasp on his axe. _Really, is this kid just gonna stand and stare at me all day?_

Sealand frowned then stood straight and puffed out his chest, trying to gain some height and display his importance. "I want to know who you are and what you think you are doing?"

Warsaw blinked. _Ballsy little twerp..._ Since the youngster had no fear, or perhaps no common sense, he might as well tell the child the truth. "My name is Warszawa and I have Rosja trapped in that room there. Once I get in, I'm gonna scare him some more and maybe even knock seven bells outta him because that's what I feel like doing and there is no one around who can stop me." _What say you to that?_

Sealand pondered for a bit. He guessed that by 'Rosja' the stranger meant Russia. They sounded similar anyway. "That seems reasonable."

"What?" Warsaw was confused.

"Well, I don't know much but my brother always says that Rosja is a demon, demons are bad you know? And he always says he'd like to punch that kol... I don't remember the word..." Sealand trailed off. "If I help you defeat Rosja or whatever, would you play football with me?" Sealand tried, hopefully.

Warsaw couldn't have looked more dumbfounded if Poland had rode by stark naked atop a rainbow unicorn. _Who the hell is this kid? What child wanders over to a stranger wielding an axe and volunteers to be an accessory to murder in exchange for having a kick about in the park?! And he uses Polish names... _Sealand did not know any Polish and was simply parroting him but Warsaw did not know this and was considering the possibility that Sealand was a fledgling town from his own country, perhaps from the border. That would explain why they hadn't crossed paths before. Still, something about the child seemed off; he didn't look quite right. The human personifications of towns and cities usually resembled their country, if only a little, and Sealand didn't look like Poland at all.

"You're not Polish, are you? If you are, sorry but I have no idea who you are, little brother." Warsaw admitted.

"Polish? No, I'm Sealand and one day and I'm going to be the most powerful nation on earth!" The boy declared. "And I think you're mistaken, I'm not your brother. I have four brothers. Their names are England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. You're a country too so you must know them."

"I'm not a country but I know who England is at least..." _That explains the eyebrows..._

Sealand was curious once more. "If you're not a country, what are you?"

"I'm a capital."

"Oh... Should you be out?" Sealand couldn't recall London ever wandering off.

"No." Warsaw grinned mischievously. "And I probably shouldn't be chasing Rosja around either."

Warsaw returned his attention to the door. "You gonna help me break this thing down then or not?"

Sealand's face lit up and he shouted "Okay!" before beginning to kick at and shoulder the door with all his might whilst his new partner in crime hacked at it with the tool he'd pilfered from the gardens and whose real owner wondered where the hell it had gone.

* * *

"We could be searching for hours, Lenkija." Lithuania complained. "If he doesn't want to be found, he'll stay out of sight and there are hundreds of places for him to hide here. Assuming he'll even stay in this area."

Poland and Lithuania had been comprehensively searching through every room on the fifth floor with not a store cupboard or dark corner left unchecked. Poland had even dared enter the ladies toilets which they found to be unoccupied each time, thankfully. There were still many more floors and rooms to go, the attic, the roof, plus gardens, the village, the mountainous region surrounding it...

"I think we should split up; we'll cover more ground that way." Lithuania suggested to his friend, who was looking more and more agitated by the minute.

"I guess..." Poland muttered then stopped to furiously rub his head and vent his annoyance by screaming. "ARRRRGH! WHY DIDN'T I PUT AN ELECTRONIC TAG THINGY ON HIM!?"

Lithuania was about to suggest a shock collar in addition to the tag when a voice interrupted him.

"Right, what is going on?"

The twosome turned to find France, with Spain still accompanying him, staring down at them with an austere expression on his face as he descended a nearby staircase. When he was serious, France was the most father-like figure any of the countries had ever known and was difficult to ignore.

Poland clammed up. Lithuania sighed. "You might as well tell them. We could probably use their help?" Poland bit the inside of his cheek and began examining his fingernails, demonstrating he was not going to be anything but stubborn today.

_And he wonders why Varšuva is so difficult to deal with... _Lithuania sweat-dropped then cleared his throat. "His capital has sort have run away... again."

"He hasn't run away!" Poland asserted.

"WAIT! Your heart has left the rest of your body?" Spain stared at Poland, goggle-eyed. "They can do that?" He asked in wonderment then he frowned. "How are you still alive?"

Poland shrugged. That was still a mystery to him. He'd never even had to switch in another of his cities or towns to act as a temporary substitute for his heart on the occasions when Warsaw took off on his own. Technically, he was the walking dead right now...

"So that's it." France coolly responded, not seeming at all surprised.

"Has this also happened to you?" Lithuania asked, surprised. He'd been certain something as ridiculous as this could only happen to someone like Poland.

"Don't be absurd! Paris is a good girl and too elegant and refined for such roguish behaviour." France looked smug as his praised his capital city, which served to further infuriate Poland.

"Don't make my capital sound bad!" The boisterous blond raved, flapping his arms. Truth be told, he was actually quite close to tears because he was tired, frustrated, worried about Warsaw and now he had to talk about his problems in front of France AND Spain. The day just kept getting worse!

France ignored Poland and continued. "It's that brute across the Channel who has problems with his heart."

"Anglija?" Lithuania was almost confident that France was referring to England but he had to check.

"He and Londres... LonDON were always clashing. I remember London was like a petulant teenager most of the time. Always causing trouble. You must have heard of that one event that happened a few hundred years back? The Great Fire of London?" France paused to watch the glimmer of recognition touch each of the three nation's faces so he knew they were all familiar with the tale.

"But what did he do about it?" Poland mumbled.

"What did he do? He punched London so hard he fell into a coma! That's what that oaf did!" France sounded peeved. "To treat your heart in such a way is a disgrace!"

"Erm... was Londres okay?" Spain asked.

France nodded. "I think he was just asleep for a long time. It was our Angleterre who suffered more from having an incapacitated heart; his strength was considerably weakened. He never told me at the time but apparently, with London not exactly fit for purpose, he secretly had Liverpool and York as substitutes for quite a while. So he once had two, almost three hearts working simultaneously."

Poland looked horrified. "I'm not gonna punch Warszawa till he's half-dead! At best, I might spank him a little..."

"He'd probably enjoy that!" An exasperated Lithuania wailed. "Can you at least change your heart to someone more agreeable for now? How about making Krokuva or Lublin your capital again?" _Please?_ Lithuania tried pleading Poland with his eyes.

"It's Kraków!" Poland shouted. Honestly. Lithuania knew their Polish names, why didn't he use them? "And like, no way. Warszawa is irreplaceable." Poland was not going to yield, not one little bit.

Spain laughed at them both. "You know, you don't seem to like Polonia's capital, Lituania."

"He hates him. They hate each other! And for no good reason!" Poland always tried not to look too aggrieved by it but, as anyone will tell you, it hurts when the people you care about don't get along. He couldn't remember if there was a reason behind Warsaw and Lithuania's poor relations, he just knew things had been that way for a ludicrously long time now, maybe centuries. At present Warsaw liked to wind Lithuania up every time such an opportunity arose for him to do so and Lithuania found it far from amusing.

"There are plenty of valid reasons for me not to like him. He wants to kill me! The last time he got out, he drove a tank through my house! And he's also very mean to Latvija. I remember one time, Var..." Lithuania stopped, reminding himself that Poland would probably have a fit if he again used Lithuanian names instead of Polish once more. "Warszawa convinced Poznań and Gdańsk to join him on a little escapade that involved stripping Latvija naked and abandoning him on a motorway in the middle of December!" Lithuania felt those few examples should gain him and Latvia some sympathy, even from Poland, but instead he seemed to think they were funny.

Poland laughed loudly. "Yeah, that was totally hilarious! I mean... poor Łotwa..." Poland tried to look apologetic for a few seconds before snorting then trying to stifle the rest of his giggles by covering his mouth and nose.

The argument threatened to go on for a while and probably worsen so France decided to put an end to the squabbling. "Right, boys. We should probably split up and search for this missing heart, don't you think? Pologne, could you tell us what he is like and what he was wearing?"

"Sure!" Poland could overcome his shyness in a flash whenever an opportunity to publicly gush over his precious Warszawa presented itself. "He looks a lot like me; he's fabulous and really cute! But he's just extra RIDICULOUSLY cute!"

Lithuania looked over to France and Spain and mouthed to them; _He's not cute at all!_

"He has own style. I just dunno how to describe it..." Poland scratched his head. "The way he dresses..."

"He dresses like someone who wants to be a thug but doesn't know what a thug typically wears." Lithuania cut in. The comment earned him a glare from Poland.

"He's not like a thug at all, actually!" Poland declared. "He likes to play pranks on people sometimes but apart from that he's really good, especially with kids, he's sweet, he's gentle..."

"He's the devil incarnate." Lithuania finished and he got away with the slur because Poland was no longer paying attention; he had dashed over to one of the windows to stare at something, or someone that had caught his eye. He returned to the small group seconds later, looking glum, apparently having mistakenly believed he had spotted Warsaw strolling along outside.

"Well... shall we be off, then?" France asked. That sketchy description they'd been given of Warsaw would have to do he supposed. "I'll go back upstairs, Espagne, you go left, Lituanie, go right, Pologne, do you want to search outside?"

"How do we keep in contact with each other? None of us has a mobile phone. What if we need to call for backup?" Spain pointed out.

"Backup? What kind of countries would we be if we couldn't manage one capital city on our own?" France stared at him disbelief. "I think we should check in with one another, say, every ninety minutes? Let's meet at that great, big fountain outside the main entrance. Naturally, if you manage to capture our little escapee, you should take him there and wait for the rest of us to turn up."

Everyone nodded their understanding and agreement.

"Let's move out then!" France shouted out enthusiastically, pleased to be the one giving all the orders to three countries who, for once, were not questioning his assumed leadership.

The four men turned in just as many different directions and so resumed the hunt for Warsaw.

* * *

Warsaw and Sealand were leaning far over a window ledge, inspecting the height they were at. Warsaw was tightly clutching at the back of the boy's shirt; if the kid managed to take a tumble out of an open window, there'd be hell to pay and, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, he found he'd taken an instant liking to the boy and would hate to see him splattered all over a concrete floor. Russia had escaped either by jumping quite some distance, or, he had painstakingly clambered down one of the drain pipes. Either way, they had lost him. He stepped back and sighed then pulled Sealand away from the window. _Now what?_

"We could go look for him?" Sealand offered, feeling slightly bad for the disappointed capital. Perhaps it was his fault Russia had gotten away? _I slowed him down..._

"Not a good idea..." The man grumbled. Warsaw, if he were in Russia's position, would make securing weaponry his priority and then possibly create some sort of stronghold. He imagined Russia was probably doing both right now. If they went searching for him, they could end up stumbling into a very bad situation and he couldn't recklessly endanger Sealand. "How about we have some fun with one of the other nations?" He grinned wickedly.

Sealand perked up again. "Alight! But who?"

"Let's just walk around and see who we run into first..." Warsaw secretly hoped that person would be Latvia; messing with him was so much fun!

* * *

Warsaw was singing some of the songs he'd learned as a child as he paraded down another yet corridor with Sealand, who was running just ahead of him, his arms outstretched as he pretended to be a plane. They had been walking continuously, though not always in the same direction and with no set destination when Sealand spotted a flight of stairs.

"Last one up is a rotten egg!" The youth shouted. Warsaw was not so old that he wouldn't take such an immature challenge seriously and he immediately sprinted after Sealand, passed him halfway up the stairs and arrived at the top first.

"No fair..." Sealand grumbled as Warsaw gloated.

"You cheated anyway. I just taught you a lesson." Warsaw replied, smugly. Sealand scowled.

Warsaw stopped suddenly and listened. "Do you hear that?"

Sealand became still and then aware that someone, somewhere, was playing a piano. "It's a piano. I wonder what the song is?"

"It's by Chopin. I think I know who'll be playing it... C'mon!" Warsaw urged Sealand to follow him, at a run, down one of the corridors to the left.

Their next target had been selected.

* * *

If there was one thing Austria never tired of or became frustrated with, it was music. He could simply lose hours each day, performing again and again the same melodies he'd perfected after playing each of them thousands of times in his lifetime. The piano always soothed his often rattled nerves and although he was an exceptional pianist and was not shy about performing in front of an audience, he preferred to be alone. Austria had been playing nonstop for four hours with his eyes closed. It looked as though he was playing in his sleep and he had almost lulled himself into a dreamlike trance. _So peaceful..._

Austria was in the middle of playing _Chopin's Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2_ and was blissfully unaware that he was being watched by a pair of mischievous fellows, who were crouched just outside the door and spying round the corner of it. Warsaw and Sealand hoped they would go unnoticed by Austria just long enough to get one prank in. Warsaw had his eye on a large storage cabinet of sorts that was made from a heavy dark-coloured wood and whose door had been left slightly ajar and he had already decided on what he'd like to do to the stuffy aristocrat. But he had no rope...

_I could tear strips from the drapes... _Pivoting slightly, while still in a squatting position, Warsaw inspected the long, heavy curtains behind them and noticed that they had tie backs that resembled some very thick rope. Warsaw smiled wickedly. Fate was on their side. He crept over to the window and forced the curtain on the right-hand side to relinquish its tie back then he returned to Sealand's side to let him in on his plan. Warsaw gestured for Sealand to come closer.

Whispering in his ear, he gave Sealand some instructions; "Right, kid. See that storage cabinet over there? I want you to sneak over there and get inside it and..."

Once he had finished explaining everything, Sealand was confident he was up to the task and was raring to go. This was going to be good! He got into position and waited for Warsaw, who was checking to see if Austria was still oblivious to their presence, to give him the signal to go. When Sealand felt Warsaw tap his head, he immediately began to belly-crawl across the room as quickly and as quietly as he could possibly manage. It took him all of fifteen seconds but it felt like much longer when he was under pressure not to get caught.

Sealand gently grabbed one of the doors to the cabinet which was slightly ajar and slowly pulled it open. _Please don't make a noise! _He peeked inside the dark space and saw that it was actually quite roomy and that there was nothing in the bottom of it, which was just what they had hoped because he needed to fit in there. He inched himself up off the floor and awkwardly climbed inside on his hands and knees, turned, closed the door and stood up. _Count to fifty..._ He told himself. Warsaw needed time. While he slowly counted, Sealand tried to gauge the size of the space he was in. He was specifically interested in how tall the cabinet was on the inside so he reached upwards, feeling to see if there was a shelf or drawer above his head. He felt nothing. He stood on his tippy-toes and stretched further. Still nothing. Someone much taller than himself could possibly fit in there quite comfortably... _forty-nine... fifty! _Time for the second stage of the plan to commence.

"HELP! PLEASE HELP ME!" Sealand yelled, piteously.

Austria's eyes shot open and his hands paused. His brain instantly registered that someone, a child judging by the pitch of the voice, was appealing for aid but he was confused because it sounded like they were in the room with him.

"HEEELLLLLLP!" The voice cried once more.

"Who are you? Where are you?" Austria shouted out.

"IT'S SEALAND! I'M HERE! IN THE CABINET!" Sealand called back to him and tried not to giggle.

"What on earth are you doing in there, you silly child?" Austria scolded him as he strode towards Sealand's hiding place. He had very little patience for children, especially those who were stupid enough to get themselves locked in a cupboard.

Sensing Austria was almost directly in front of him; Sealand no longer saw a need to shout. "I was playing Hide and Seek with Latvia and became trapped in here." He made sure he had tight hold of the inside of the doors so that if Austria tried to pull them open, they would appear to be stuck shut.

"But I've been in here for hours! Why didn't you call out sooner?!" Austria was shocked to think the boy has been here all this time.

"I fell asleep I think... There's so little air in here!" Sealand coughed to make it sound as though he and had been without fresh air and water for an extended period.

Just beyond Austria, underneath the grand piano, Warsaw was waiting for the opportune moment and also trying hard not to laugh. He'd told Sealand what to do but not what to say. What a star performer!

Austria wasn't finding anything about this situation amusing; he was actually quite panicked now, truly believing that Sealand was in distress, he grabbed the handles to both doors and attempted to swing them both open but they did appear to be stuck, locked somehow. On the other side of the door, Sealand used all his strength to keep them held shut until he felt Austria stop pulling.

"They do seem to be stuck..." Austria transferred both hands to one door handle and steeled himself, preparing to throw all his weight backwards to help tug the door open just as Sealand removed his hold on it. Austria was stunned when the door simply flew open as though no effort were required at all. Sealand stepped out, grinning brightly, but before Austria could utter a word, he felt someone shove him from behind. Austria fell forwards into the cabinet and heard the door slam behind him, plunging him into darkness.

Outside, Warsaw quickly looped the tie-backs from the curtains through the handles and tied the doors shut while Sealand pushed an armchair in front of the cabinet's now tethered doors. Then the pair fled the scene, laughing loudly, leaving an enraged Austria pounding on his prison walls and demanding to be released.

* * *

Leaves rustled violently and branches cracked and broke as Poland dropped out of a tree and landed heavily on his feet. He had shimmied up eight different trees now, using the natural structures to scan the horizon for any sign of his heart. It also seemed reasonable to him to suspect that he might find Warsaw hiding in one of the trees as he knew Warsaw wasn't afraid of heights, far from it; the capital was a fan of free-running and was especially fond of performing his acrobatic skills on rooftops. Poland, fearing for Warsaw's safety, had tried to discourage him from doing it but Warsaw was as stubborn as a mule and refused to stop.

Poland plodded wearily along the path made from wood chippings, occasionally kicking at the pieces. He wished he hadn't agreed to split up the group to search for Warsaw because now there was no one to listen to him talk and he liked to talk. A lot. But only around the right people. He let out a noisy sigh.

Why did Warsaw _always_ wander off and then either tease the other nations or provoke fights with them? Did he not care how much embarrassment it caused him? It was he, never Warsaw, who had to apologize to the countries he usually shyly avoided. Perhaps he'd overindulged Warsaw too much but in his mind that was unavoidable because his current capital was his favourite and just too damn cute, even when he was being difficult.

Poland emerged from behind a row of small conifer trees and was blinded by the sunlight. When the white sparks in his eyes finally dispelled, he saw that he was closing in on a group of girls having a picnic. One of the girls noticed him approaching and began to enthusiastically wave at him.

"Hi Pol'shcha!" Ukraine was giggling as she spoke and her cheeks were rosy. Either Ukraine was in a particularly bubbly mood or she was a little bit drunk.

"Hi..." He felt a little uncomfortable being outnumbered by a bunch of girls who were all possibly a little bit tipsy. He'd never had a real conversation with most of them; his shyness around strangers never let him. Poland got along quite well with Ukraine when it was just the two of them but things never went quite as well with the others. Looking around he saw that Belgium, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Taiwan and Seychelles were also present. Belarus and Hungary were not. Poland groaned internally. Hungary also knew about Warsaw's tendency to run off, having witnessed it several times herself. She would've helped him with his search and been discreet about it.

"Pol'shcha~!" Ukraine sang, as she tugged on his clothes. "Come sit with us!"

"Eh? I thought this was girls only?" Liechtenstein asked, timidly. "If not, perhaps I could bring my dear brother?"

"NO!"Belgium shouted. "We can't talk properly when he's around. He moderates the conversation and points a gun in your face whenever you bring up a topic he disapproves of. He's an idiot!"

"All men are idiots." Seychelles added. "No offense, Pologne."

"Aren't you going to sit? We really don't mind you joining us." Taiwan offered him a space between her and Ukraine.

"Thanks but I can't... I'm busy looking for someone..." Poland wasn't going to divulge much more than that.

"Lituanie?" Monaco guessed.

"Huh?"

"Are you looking for Lithuania?" Monaco tried again, saying his name in English this time.

"Oh. Yeah." Poland decided it was better they mistakenly thought he was looking for Lithuania, rather than suffer further embarrassment and questioning over his capital city flouting rules and running wild.

"Haven't seen him, sorry." Belgium answered for all of them.

"Have you seen... anyone else?" Poland was going to ask if they'd seen a stranger in the area but changed his mind when he thought about how many more questions he might have to answer.

The girls all looked puzzled but Seychelles thought a list of countries they'd seen that morning might help Poland. As Poland seemed to be having an 'off day' having not understood Monaco when she gave Lithuania's name in French, she decided to use English names instead. "Hungary and Belarus were with us earlier. Belarus thought she saw Russia running off towards the village and went to follow him. Hungary said she was going to get her video-camera and hasn't returned yet. It's just been us girls till you showed up."

What she'd just said about Russia was odd and left him with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. _Don't tell me the first thing Warszawa did was go after him!?_ Poland swallowed hard. "I'm gonna go search for Liet now... somewhere else... bye!" And off he shot, like a rabbit out of a trap.

They watched Poland hurtle across the garden.

"If a guy loves you, he will chase you around the world." Belgium commented.

"What?" Seychelles laughed.

"Oh so you don't see it? He likes Litouwen so much he gets breathless and can't even speak! It's so obvious; he's always chasing after Litouwen. I think he wants to get back together with him but is too shy to tell him how he feels." Belgium was certain everything she'd said was correct.

"I think he's just shy in general..." Monaco put forward but could hardly be heard over Ukraine.

"Yaoi! That's what Hungary calls it!" Ukraine shrieked as she toppled over.

"How does a person get this drunk on Grasshoppers? There's next to no alcohol in them." Belgium moaned, moving the drinks Ukraine hadn't managed to spill. "And why are all of you suddenly using English names?"

"I shouldn't...?" Ukraine looked tearful now. "But everyone else was using English!"

"Maybe I should get my brother..." Liechtenstein quivered.

"NO!" The other five girls shouted in unison.

* * *

Having descended two floors fleeing the scene of their crime against Austria, Warsaw and Sealand had temporarily run out of energy and could no longer run. They barely had any breath left to laugh either but they were determined to find more unsuspecting victims for their pranks since the last one had gone so well.

"Kid, you did a great job." Warsaw managed to squeeze out one more laugh while Sealand beamed, pleased with all the praise he was receiving. "Where do you want to go next?"

"Outside! We can do lots of fun things out there!" Sealand babbled excitedly.

"Oh yeah, you wanted to play football earlier, didn't you?" Warsaw recalled.

"Yeah... but I kinda like what we've been doing today more..." Sealand said honestly.

Smirking, Warsaw asked "Would you prefer to search for someone we can throw a bucket of water over or something?"

"Yes!" Sealand blurted out before coming to a stop near a window and staring out into the gardens. "I think I can see someone we can soak!"

"What are we waiting for then?" Warsaw asked.

They both took to their heels once more and headed down the building, searching for the nearest doors that would lead to the outside.

* * *

The sun was still high in the sky and it felt pleasantly warm outside. The air smelled of freshly mown grass and flowers. Despite being cropped short, the grass still felt springy underneath their feet as they quick-stepped towards a row of shrubs to cover them from view as they eased upon their new prey, relaxed and completely unaware that Poland had been in the vicinity mere moments ago.

Peeking through and beyond the shrubbery, Warsaw was surprised to see the 'person' he'd thought Sealand had identified as their next target was actually a group of people. Several of the female nations were sitting around, enjoying the sun presumably, and chatting. Warsaw noted with relief that at least Belarus wasn't among them; she was a sharp one and would catch them out instantly. He was distracted by Sealand tugging on his sleeve.

"What do you think?" The child whispered. "Should we dump some cold water at them or go fetch some frogs and worms and throw those at them instead? Either way, I bet they'll all scream" Sealand snickered into his hands.

Warsaw shook his head. "No way. I don't play pranks on girls... well, maybe I do a little... but only around Easter and because it's a tradition." He generally thought it wise to keep on the good side of women, especially the female nations, half of whom were so kind he couldn't imagine playing cruel jokes on them, such as Ukraine and Hungary, whom he liked very much. The remaining women were scary beyond all reason when they were cross and tormenting them was not worth risking his very existence.

He noted, with some disappointment, that Hungary didn't seem to be around although that was possibly a good thing; however well they got on, she would almost certainly hand him back over to Poland. Sealand looked equally disappointed, not because Hungary was missing, but because he'd been looking forward to teasing the girls and thought Warsaw would be on board with the idea too.

"Well, what shall we do now?" Sealand asked, already bored.

"Give me a moment to think. I don't want to get caught, you know." Warsaw grumbled while pondering on the next bit of mischief they could get into.

* * *

Back inside the building and upstairs on the second floor, Lithuania was ambling along the corridor confused and trying to establish exactly where he was and whether he'd already searched the rooms along that way or not. The corridors, doors and staircases all looked very much the same and now he'd gotten disorientated.

Lithuania stopped to open one of the windows; it was stiflingly warm indoors. This could be attributed to the natural sunlight that was slowly heating the place but he knew the main reasons he felt all hot and bothered were because of all the physical activity he'd done thus far today and also because he was slightly annoyed with Poland for not being able to keep his own body parts inside himself, where they belonged. The air from the open window felt cool and refreshing and he wished he could go outside. Gazing across the gardens, Lithuania observed a group of people were sitting together on the grass and he wondered if he should go and ask them if they'd seen any suspicious characters lurking around. If anything it would be a great excuse to get some more fresh air.

Two shapes hunkered down by some shrubs and short trees suddenly caught his eye. He leaned further out of the window to get a better look. He was almost certain one of the pair was Warsaw, no, he was sure of it; he recognized that ridiculous hat he always wore. But who was that with him? A child? Casting his mind back, Lithuania had a dim recollection of talking to a similar-looking boy who had said he wanted to be a 'real' country. He was a part of England's family... _Sealand! _This time Warsaw was trying to corrupt an innocent child! What else was he up to?

Lithuania glanced at their hiding place and then to the group of female nations and back again and thought he'd put two and two together. "He's coerced Sealand into attacking those girls! I've got to stop him!"

Of course Lithuania's perceptions of what Warsaw was like as a person were inaccurate and that was because he largely judged Warsaw on his behaviour towards him. He wrongly assumed Warsaw was as hostile and rude to everyone else as he was with him and, as far as he knew, the only people exempt from such treatment were Poland and Hungary. Lithuania hadn't really witnessed Poland's capital interact with anyone else otherwise he would probably have known that Sealand and the female nations were in no danger whatsoever.

His energy recovered, Lithuania sped down the nearest stairs he could find and quickly managed to locate an exit. He slackened his pace as his feet touched a gravel pavement, hoping to reduce the volume of the crunching noise they made as he attempted to sneak up on Warsaw. Lithuania's plan was to use the element of surprise to capture Poland's heart. As soon he reached the soft, springy grass he broke into a sprint, getting faster and faster as he approached them from behind.

Warsaw and Sealand had no idea Lithuania was there until they heard a man yell; "Varšuva!"

Warsaw didn't even have chance to turn around and face him as Lithuania tackled him into the ground.

* * *

On the opposite side of the building and almost half a mile away, Poland stopped and placed a hand on his chest where his heart should be. He felt a strange pressure, as though something weighed down upon it. He frowned and turned back.

* * *

Warsaw felt as though he was literally being crushed into the ground and he knew without looking who exactly was responsible for flattening him. "Litwa..." He growled. He'd gotten into quite a few scrapes with the Baltic nation before but this was the first time Lithuania had sat on him and he was _freakin' heavy_! _How dare he do this to me?!_

Incensed, Warsaw tried to wriggle and twist his way free while making many threats to Lithuania in Polish, knowing he'd understand every word. It was all in vain and as much as he hated to admit it, as a capital he didn't stand much of a chance against a whole country, even one suppressing their power. Lithuania never fought with him using his full strength, much to Warsaw's annoyance and it demonstrated that they were in completely different leagues. Warsaw felt confident he could beat the living daylights out of any of Lithuania's cities as they would be on equal footing with him. Well, perhaps not Wilno or Vilnius as Lithuania called him. Having seized Wilno in the past and upon spending time with him, both he and Poland felt oddly attached to him, as though he belonged with them and Warsaw never had any desire to get into a punch up with him. He _really_ wanted to punch Lithuania though...

Sealand, who had been staring, open-mouthed at the two men as they struggled, was just beginning to recover from the initial shock of seeing Lithuania launch himself at his new friend. He remembered that Lithuania had been the only country not to ignore him at one of the first world meetings he'd been allowed to attend and in all the meetings since then Lithuania still made small talk with him or offered him advice. Lithuania had seemed like a really nice guy but now Sealand thought that the older country was a bully, after all, Warsaw had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve to be restrained.

Sealand was quite taken aback by how furious Lithuania and Warsaw looked with each other. Warsaw's anger he could sort of understand but he couldn't fathom why Lithuania was cross with him. He was old enough to realize there were different kinds of anger; there was a difference between England scolding him for being cheeky and the time he'd shouted at him for stepping into a road without looking. But what could Warsaw possibly have done that was wrong?

_Lithuania might be less annoyed if Warszawa would just lay still!_ Sealand thought. If anything Warsaw was getting increasingly angry, still violently struggling to get free and talking rapidly in a language Sealand didn't understand. While Lithuania looked like he might just strangle him. Sealand hated _real_ fights and he'd seen his fair share of them given England's inharmonious relationship with the rest of the men in their family and France but he was still no better at dealing with them.

Shakily, Sealand got to his feet and tried ordering them to cease what they were doing. "Stop it, now!" Then to Lithuania he shouted "Leave him alone!"

Lithuania didn't hear Sealand as he was entirely focused on not letting Warsaw break away. As he adjusted his position atop Warsaw, Lithuania unintentionally inflicted extra pressure on the capital's backbone as his knee ground into it.

"OW!" Warsaw snapped at him. Actually, it hadn't hurt that much but it gave him an idea. "You hurt me, you hurt him..." He whispered harshly.

Lithuania blinked as he was reminded that Warsaw and Poland were connected, body and soul. Of course there was the chance that the ill-tempered blond could be lying about how much pain he was in but Lithuania honestly couldn't determine how much of that pain was being relayed back to Poland. He didn't want to cause Poland any discomfort... Lithuania, reluctantly, moved to prevent Warsaw's back from taking the brunt of most of his weight.

Warsaw smirked, silently congratulating himself for his own cleverness at finding a way to exploit Lithuania's feelings and turn the situation in his favour. However, he had not gained as much control of the situation as he believed; Lithuania wasn't foolish enough to allow his limbs too much movement and twisted his arms behind his back and pinned them down so that Warsaw was neither able to use them or his legs. Warsaw seethed and tried to struggle free again while Lithuania looked unimpressed by his actions. Then he was surprised to feel someone give his shoulder a violent shove.

"Don't you hear me?!" Sealand yelled. "I said to leave him alone!"

Lithuania had forgotten the boy was there. "Sealand, do you know Lenkija? Poland? Go find him for me and bring him here."

"No!" Sealand looked determined but sounded upset. "Warszawa will have to go back. I don't want him to."

Lithuania's expression softened somewhat. "But he belongs with Poland. You know he shouldn't be out, right? Poland has been looking for him all day."

"But Poland is fine without him, right? Warszawa doesn't want to go back yet!" Sealand looked close to tears, mainly from feeling hopelessly frustrated. "Do you?" Sealand asked Warsaw.

Warsaw didn't want to look at him. He didn't need children shedding their tears over him and honestly, like Poland, he could be a bit of a cry-baby himself sometimes; watching Sealand weep would probably make his eyes well up too and he wasn't going to let Lithuania see him cry. So, ignoring Sealand, he went with the easier option of continuing to fight against Lithuania. "Get off my back, Litwa!" He demanded, angrily.

Sealand decided to take action and help Warsaw dislodge Lithuania."Get off him!" Sealand grunted as shouldered into the bigger nation.

"Sealand!" Lithuania shouted as he was briefly thrown off balance.

In those few seconds, Warsaw managed to free one of his arms and his lower body by rolling over onto his back. The only thing preventing him from escaping was Lithuania's vice-like grip on his other arm. Warsaw was able to deliver one bone-rattling punch to Lithuania's ribs before the nation sought to pin him back down to the ground once again.

It was horrible seeing them fight and Sealand frantically sought a way put a stop to it for good this time. He knew there was only one thing he could try. He circled behind Lithuania and gave him one last warning. "Let him go or I'll use my most powerful kick on you!"

He gave Lithuania three seconds to comply before swinging his right foot forward with as much force as a premier league football player and kicking Lithuania directly in the balls.

The move was immediately effective; Lithuania cried out in agony and cupped his privates with both hands before rocking over onto his side and curling into a foetal position. _Oh God, the pain!_

At first, Warsaw was too stunned to do anything and only reacted when he felt Sealand tugging on his shirt, trying to pull him up onto his feet, urging him to move. The pair bolted just as the female nations burst around the edge of the line of shrubs to discover what all the commotion was about.

"Oh look! There's Pol'shcha's heart! Bye-bye Pol'shcha's heart!" Ukraine said, waving to Warsaw as he fled past them. The other girls ignored Ukraine and crowded around Lithuania instead.

"Ignore her, she's wasted." Belgium quickly informed Lithuania. "Are you okay?"

"What happened!?" Monaco asked.

Lithuania winced as the pain continued through his lower abdomen and he was still so dazed he didn't even recognize the girls at first. As the numbness set in, each voice he heard became clearer and more familiar and when he finally managed to sit himself up, the first thing Lithuania observed was that almost all of the female nations were there but most noticeably, Belarus and Hungary were not. Hungary. Wasn't Warsaw as fond of Hungary as Poland was? He was certainly more acquiescent when she was around, perhaps her help would prove to be invaluable to him?

"Should we get a doctor?" Lithuania thought he heard Lichtenstein say to the others.

"No, I'm fine." Lithuania said abruptly. "But do you know where Veñgrija is?" He hoped the answer was 'yes.'

"No. We think she might be in the building somewhere. She had said she was going to get her video-camera but she's been gone an awfully long time for her to be doing only that." Taiwan commented.

Lithuania sighed wearily. _Great... More searching..._ Wincing again as he got to his feet, he couldn't fail to notice Ukraine was swaying where she stood and smelt faintly of mint. "Have you been giving her mint-flavoured drinks? She gets very drunk on those you know..."

"We didn't know..." Belgium groaned.

"I know it won't make sense but give her vodka, it'll sober her up." Lithuania said before limping off back towards the building to try and find Hungary this time.

"What's wrong with everyone today? They're running around all over the place, not making any sense and no one wants to talk!" Seychelles sounded exasperated.

"Isn't it always like this?" Monaco said as though it were a matter of fact.

And they all had to agree with her.

* * *

Warsaw and Sealand continued to run for a long time, despite the fact no one had given chase to them. They had raced along the entire length of the building and turned a corner and were now heading towards the gardens to the rear of the estate.

Warsaw scolded Sealand with short panted breath and broken speech as they continued to run. "That was way below the belt and completely out of order! You don't kick a guy in the balls!"

"Why not?" Sealand was also gasping for breath. They both stumbled to a slow, unsteady pace.

"It's an unspoken rule between men." Warsaw stated as though he could produce legislation backing him up at any time. "It's a cheap shot and only a wimp would do it. It's not a real fight if the only way you can win is to paralyse your opponent by kicking him in the balls."

"I'm not a wimp!"Sealand argued. "And he's bigger than me! You couldn't even handle him, what was I supposed to do?"

"I could've if he hadn't attacked me from behind!" Warsaw claimed. "He caught me by surprise is all..."

Sealand came to a standstill and bent over, placing both hands on his knees to support his wobbly frame while he rested, inhaling deeply. He felt a little bit nauseous and when he looked up he discovered a most unwelcome surprise.

"Hey, isn't that Poland?" Sealand squeaked after spotting a man with blond hair and a green uniform moving with purpose, directly towards them.

Warsaw became a statue, frozen in place as he felt his blood run cold. _This is the end._ _I'm in so much trouble! _Though he was afraid to, he somehow managed to force himself to glance in the direction Sealand was pointing in and... Breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's Szwajcaria, you idiot!" Warsaw spluttered, lightly punching the top of Sealand's head to punish him for his mistake and for almost causing him to go into cardiac arrest.

"That's what?" Sealand was completely baffled.

"Switzerland! And why don't you know everyone's names yet?!" Warsaw grouched. It was one of the first things countries and their capital cities were required to learn; the name of every other country in every language.

Sealand at least had the decency to look ashamed. England had tried to teach him _some _names; he just hadn't paid attention during any of the lessons. _Ah! Switzerland is getting closer and he doesn't look happy._

Switzerland had a habit of patrolling the buildings the nations gathered in for their meetings even though it was not his job to do so. That was when he wasn't busy guarding Liechtenstein from the idiocy of the other nations. He had spotted two dubious looking individuals, one tall, one short, scampering about the area as though they were up to no good and decided to investigate. Normally he followed the mantra 'shoot first, ask questions later' but since one of them seemed to be a child he thought he'd better change his order of doing things. As he sauntered closer he realized that the child was Sealand but he didn't know who his companion was.

"Hi Switzerland..." Sealand tried to greet him as cheerily as he would any of the other nations but Switzerland was a little bit scary...

Switzerland gave him a cursory glance before turning his attention to Warsaw and pointing a gun in the man's chest. "And who are you?"

"He's my guardian!" Sealand cut in, arms flailing.

"You still require a babysitter at your age?" Switzerland sounded disapproving which Warsaw felt was pretty rich coming from a man who practically babied Liechtenstein and she was much older than Sealand. That gave him an idea...

"Hey, we saw your sister earlier. Do you know the girls that were with her have alcohol and they're all talking about boys and kissing?" Warsaw gave a sly grin, knowing before he'd even finished his sentence that he'd pushed the right buttons.

"WHAT?!" Switzerland bellowed. "I specifically said there was to be no alcohol and told them those areas of conversation were strictly off limits!" He furiously exclaimed before storming off to confront the girls, completely forgetting about the stranger in front of him. He vanished faster than he'd appeared.

"Was that the right thing to do? I mean, will the girls be alright? He has a gun..." Sealand sounded worried.

"They can handle themselves. Ukraina alone should be too much for him to handle... Unless she IS drunk..." Warsaw decided that was very unlikely. "Well, looks like we're in the clear for now!" Warsaw voiced cheerily, his sunnier disposition quickly reappearing.

"I think we should go further into the gardens this time and stay out of sight." Sealand commented.

"Hm. On the way, I will teach you everyone's names in Polish!" As far as he was concerned, Warsaw believed it was the best language to start with.

"But all these names are hard to remember!" Sealand protested. "I'm only a kid, you know!"

"So what?" Warsaw retorted. "When I was still being bottle fed I could recite the names of everyone in Polska and half of the countries in Europe!"

"You're making that up!" Sealand was convinced Warsaw was lying this time.

"I am not! Jeez! Kids today are so..." Warsaw swallowed the rest of his words as he came to a horrible realization. "OH NO!" He howled before dropping to his knees, a little too dramatically in Sealand's opinion.

"What?" Sealand asked apprehensively.

"I'm becoming Kraków!" Warsaw wailed. Kraków acted much like an old man, despite being a fraction older than Warsaw was and many of his sentences began with 'Back in my day...' or 'kids today...' and Warsaw was horrified to think he was now turning the same way. "I can't! I'm not ready to become an old fogey!"

* * *

Back inside Poland, Kraków sat up suddenly. He had been sunning himself, lounging languidly in park when he felt a sudden and mysterious urge to find Warsaw and give him a smack round the head. That is, until he spotted Kielce walking towards him, with a silly smile on his face.

"Guess what Gdańsk is doing?" Kielce said gleefully. That twinkle in his eyes could only mean that Gdańsk was up to no good and Kielce obviously wanted to tell on him. Kielce looked at him expectantly, waiting for Kraków to predict what their brother was up to.

"I give up. Just tell me." Kraków hated guessing games.

Kielce plonked himself down beside Kraków. "Well... at present he's taken about half the population of Warszawa back to his place."

"He's done what?! And Warszawa just let him?!" Kraków's look was incredulous.

"Warszawa isn't there. Nor is he anywhere else inside Polska for that matter..."

Kraków groaned. Kielce was telling him that Warszawa had left Poland again.

"Do you know _why _Gdańsk is taking all those people?" Kraków asked.

"He thinks that if there are no humans left in Warszawa, he'll lose his status as a capital city." Kielce sounded closer then further away as he said this because he was rocking back and forth. Rolling around on the floor wasn't solely something Poland did; some of his cities had taken to mimicking him though perhaps not intentionally.

"And Gdańsk wants to be the capital instead? Impossible." Kraków muttered.

"Are you going to stop him?" Kielce was looking at Kraków as though he half expected he would.

"No. It's Warszawa's fault for wandering off. He can sort it all out when he gets back."

"Are you going to get Warszawa then? You know how to get out too, right? Can I come?" Kielce bubbled excitedly.

Is that why Kielce had come to him? Because he wanted to venture outside? Kraków wondered where this sense of wanderlust many of his siblings seemed to have came from. Yes, he knew how to leave and re-enter Poland and he could do both without anyone noticing, unlike Warsaw who could never completely conceal himself or what he was doing. What also set them apart was, Kraków never wanted to leave as he was content with being where he was and what he was.

"No, I'm not going to get him." Kraków informed Kielce, who immediately looked disappointed.

"I expect Polska will bring him back shortly. Or Litwa..." Kraków began to laugh. "Warszawa better watch himself otherwise Litwa will probably put his foot up his arse." It was amusing how little patience Lithuania had with Warsaw. He really couldn't blame the Baltic nation as Warsaw usually went to great lengths to provoke him so it was his own fault if Lithuania lost his cool with him on occasion but then Warsaw would respond by complaining about it to anyone who would listen. Kraków shook his head. Warsaw still had a ways to go.

* * *

Warsaw, having finally recovered from his earlier theatrics, was plodding along with Sealand and discussing the possibility of them building a tree house to hide in when they happened upon a picturesque duck pond. The water was clear and still but looked as dark as coal except for the areas which were producing near perfect mirror images of the tall reeds dotted around the edge of the pond. On the surface of the water there were many water lilies that were in bloom and large families of ducks with many cute, fluffy chicks in tow. Sealand sat by the edge to admire them all while Warsaw examined himself to figure out where and how many bruises he'd get courtesy of Lithuania.

"Look!" Sealand gasped. "There's England!"

Warsaw looked up and saw that England was indeed there, on the other side of the pond, with his nose buried deep inside a hardback book. He was sat on a small, fold-able chair and had an equally diminutive, circular table beside him on which rested a cup which was probably filled with his favourite sweet, milky tea.

They observed him in complete silence for a minute before Warsaw said "We have to push him in" at exactly the same time Sealand said "Let's push him in."

They looked at each other and nodded before scampering along the edge of the pond, using the reeds to hide their presence.

England was blissfully unaware that his younger brother and Warsaw were there and had circled round behind him. When he began to feel as though he were being watched, it was already too late; Warsaw and Sealand rushed out and jointly gave England one good, hard shove and that was it; he entered the water face first with a colossal splash.

Warsaw and Sealand fell about laughing as England thrashed and kicked himself free of the lilies and struggled to stand in the freezing water. Coughing and spluttering, England's first reaction to what had happened was to bellow at Sealand; "SEALAND! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

England was literally dripping wet, with streams of water running from his hair and down his face. A water lily had found a home on top of his head and he looked absolutely ridiculous. Even more so, when an angry mother duck rushed over to aggressively peck at and pull on his uniform. Sealand and Warsaw laughed even harder; tears flowing down their faces.

Still fuming, England attempted to wade back to the edge of the pond but slid on the slippery sediment beneath his feet and ended up falling back into the water.

Although they'd have loved to hang around a bit longer and relish in the spectacle that was England, Warsaw came to the conclusion that England would manage to get out eventually and when he did, he would most likely kill them both.

* * *

"Quickly, let's go." Warsaw said, almost choking on his laughter as he grabbed Sealand's arm and forced him to flee.

France, Spain and Poland had gathered by the fountain as per their original agreement which was that they would rendezvous there every ninety minutes to update each other on their progress. Of the three, Spain looked the most relaxed as he dozed on a bench. France was stood, tapping his foot impatiently and Poland kept fidgeting as they waited for Lithuania to appear.

"He's never late..." Poland grumbled. Lithuania usually kept time well.

"Maybe your capital killed him?" Spain suggested. "Like Lituania seemed to think he would."

"He wouldn't do that." Poland pouted. "And I'd totally know if Liet were dead..." He lay on the rim of the fountain and dangled his fingertips into it, playing with the cool water.

Spain shrugged and settled back down for a nap.

Their arrangement had not gone exactly to plan as someone always managed to turn up late or miss the meeting altogether. Spain had arrived late to the first meeting while Poland hadn't shown up at all. Poland was then late arriving to the second meeting and Lithuania looked set to miss two in a row.

"There is the possibility that Lituanie has found your capital but is having difficulties bringing him here?" France surmised.

"He wouldn't listen to Liet..." Poland agreed that Warsaw probably wouldn't willingly follow instructions from anyone but he and possibly Hungary; that is if Warsaw were in a good mood or Hungary was in an exceptionally bad one.

A sudden fierce rustling noise accompanied by a loud squelch startled Poland, causing him to almost fall head first into the fountain he was still draped over the edge of. He half expected to see a strange, alien creature emerge from the bushes but instead out popped England. He looked furious and soaked to the bone.

France laughed instantly and loudly. "What happened to you? You look like a drowned rat! And it suits you! HAHAHAHA!"

"Why you...!" England didn't hesitate to march right up to France, wrap both hands around his neck and then commence strangling him.

"Sto.. Stop him!" France choked out while Poland and Spain rushed over and tried to pry England off him. Once freed from England's death grip, France backed off and began to rub his poor throat whilst glaring at his attacker.

"What did happen to you though?" Spain was almost too afraid to ask.

"Sealand and some weirdo in a brown hat pushed me into one of the ponds. When I get my hands on the pair of them..." England growled, menacingly.

"You saw Warszawa?" Poland practically cheered. "Where is he? Which way did he go? Wait, did you just call him a weirdo!?"

Too many questions, too quickly. England looked to France for information. "What is he going on about?"

"It's a London 1666." France said. "His capital has gone AWOL."

"...Oh God..." England groaned.

"At least my capital isn't a pyromaniac." Poland sniffed, looking disdainfully at England.

"Perhaps since you are interested in wringing his neck, you would be willing to help us apprehend his capital?" France queried as he stepped back in amongst his circle of friends, content that he was no longer the focus of England's aggression.

"I suppose so... Sealand's with him." England had lost count of the number of times he'd warned Sealand about strangers as well. The boy never listened. Suddenly concerned, England turned to Poland. "Is Sealand safe with him?"

"Sure. I keep telling you all, he's good with kids!" Poland affirmed.

"I'm getting changed first." England muttered. "They were near the duck pond, not far from the tennis courts, but I lost sight of them when I slipped so I don't know which direction they ran off in. You all go on ahead and I'll catch up with you in a bit."

Poland took off first with Spain hot on his heels and France following behind him while England jumped up and down awkwardly in his drenched clothes, trying to force more of the water out of them before stepping back indoors to look for a change of uniform.

* * *

_Here they come ..._

"Varšuva!" Lithuania called out to Warsaw.

Warsaw and Sealand looked to their left and saw Lithuania standing still, arms folded, in front of a cluster of fancifully trimmed trees. He appeared to be waiting for them.

They'd made a mistake by inadvertently fleeing back towards the building. Neither of them was very familiar with the grounds though Sealand had thought he had a rough idea of where they were after they'd skirted round the tennis courts. He had insisted they follow a path, which he believed led to an avenue of trees, but apparently they had walked in the wrong direction and now Lithuania had managed to find them.

"So, he's come back for more. You didn't kick him hard enough." Warsaw lightly chided Sealand while the boy sulked because, apparently, his most powerful kick wasn't as strong as he'd thought it was.

Surprisingly, Lithuania wasn't moving at all and appeared to have no intention of chasing them. Dumbfounded, Warsaw and Sealand stopped to stare at him, wondering what could be preventing Lithuania from following them and why the man had now fallen silent.

There was something unsettling about it all, Sealand decided. Lithuania's stance was firm and unyielding, as though he were guarding the entrance to some imaginary door and had no intention of letting them leave yet how could the nation prevent them from escaping if he remained rooted to that spot? Sealand focused on Lithuania's impassive face and found that he could not decipher the man's temperament or his intentions but his eyes were somewhat more revealing; those fierce green orbs were intimidating to say the least. Sealand could feel Lithuania's stare holding them in place, pushing them down, yet inviting them to dare try oppose him. The nation's stare was not being directed at Sealand, who felt relieved that he was not Lithuania's target, but he still moved closer to Warsaw for security. He yanked on the man's sleeve. When the action was met with no response, Sealand glanced up and realized Warsaw was staring back at Lithuania with equal intensity.

Lithuania smirked and Warsaw bristled, feeling looked down upon.

Now Lithuania knew that he had succeeded in provoking Warsaw, it was time to see if he could make him act. He beckoned Warsaw closer as if daring him to step up and fight him one on one.

Warsaw gave a feral grin; he could never resist a challenge, especially one that might fulfil his lifelong dream of getting into a slugfest with Lithuania and for Lithuania to fight seriously with him for a change.

Sealand understood the look. "No!" He pleaded. "No fighting! Let's just run!"

"I'm not running from _him_..." Warsaw took off his hat and handed it to Sealand before tying his hair back in a tight knot. Next, he carefully removed his rosary and slipped it inside his back pocket. _I'll be satisfied if I can at least leave_ _him with a bloodied nose..._ Hitting Lithuania square in the face was a feat he'd not yet managed to achieve in all their previous altercations.

Then, doing exactly as Lithuania wished of him for once, Warsaw charged across the lawn.

"NO FIGHTING!" Sealand shouted in vain as he chased after Warsaw.

Despite the fact they'd more or less done nothing but run that day, Warsaw still had huge reserves of energy left and was tearing towards Lithuania like an Olympic sprinter nearing a finish line. In the time it had taken Sealand to run ten metres, Warsaw was almost within striking distance of Lithuania and still unaware that he was about to fall into the country's trap.

Warsaw, Lithuania decided as the capital raced towards him, was a complete idiot. For the fool to think he was seriously challenging him to single hand combat when they both _knew _he wouldn't because, in all honesty, he could destroy Warsaw if he put all of his power into one well aimed strike but how could he do that to Poland? Break his heart... Poland was stubborn to the point he'd probably choose death rather than temporarily use another of his cities as a substitute heart, so it preyed upon Lithuania's mind that if he were to take out Warsaw, Poland would perish. Fed up with it all, Lithuania released a puff of air but otherwise remained as unmovable as a rock, knowing there was no need to do anything else but let Warsaw throw the first punch.

Warsaw launched his left fist forward, expecting it to make audible contact with Lithuania's face.

But it didn't. His hand froze, suspended in mid air, an inch from the tip of Lithuania's nose.

Warsaw blinked in confusion. He'd kept his eyes on Lithuania the entire time and he hadn't even seen the country's muscles flinch, so when had he grabbed his arm? Warsaw glanced sideways to the left and then did a double-take upon seeing Hungary smiling serenely at him while maintaining a crushing grip on his forearm. Now he understood why Lithuania hadn't moved. _She must've been hidden behind Litwa the entire time! _

"This isn't fair!" Warsaw half cried, half groaned. He adored Hungary! How could he go against her?! _Damn Litwa..._ He couldn't have chosen a better accomplice.

Doubting that Hungary would require his assistance, Lithuania strolled past them both to watch Sealand prancing towards them; the young boy seemed delighted that the skirmish had been avoided. Warsaw kicked out like a bad tempered horse at Lithuania's leg as he went by.

"Enough!" Hungary gently scolded Warsaw. There wasn't a hint of annoyance in her voice and the word was spoken softly but it still commanded obedience and once she felt Warsaw relax, she loosened her grip on his arm, confident that he wouldn't try to break free of her and flee.

"Here's your hat." Sealand offered it back to Warsaw who took it and roughly pulled it back onto his head with his free hand.

Hungary stared curiously at Warsaw's bangs. His hair had definitely grown a lot longer since she last saw him and it was looking increasingly untidy.

"Alright, you have to let me braid your hair!" Without waiting for permission, Hungary pulled Warsaw's hat back off and turned him so that his back was facing her. Then she began to rifle through his hair with her fingers, checking for and removing any tangles she could find before beginning to braid it.

Warsaw let his hands fall to his sides, looked to the sky and huffed. He was as agitated as a child who has tired of their mother fussing over their hair and clothes to ensure they look presentable.

Lithuania got an enormous amount of satisfaction seeing Warsaw's displeasure at having his hair tampered with and was now struggling to keep his own sense of mischief in check. He turned away from the others to hunt through a flower bed then delivered a small bouquet to Hungary. "Here. Put these in his hair as well."

"Oh these are lovely! You're going to look so cute!" Hungary declared as she began to intertwine a red flower with a lock of Warsaw's hair.

"No! No flowers!" Warsaw adamantly refused while violently shaking his head to dislodge the small bloom, partially un-doing some of Hungary's work. He'd had enough.

"Think you're funny, do you?" Warsaw bit out as he stomped forward and shoved Lithuania hard in the chest using both hands.

The force barely impacted on Lithuania's balance; at best it forced him to step backwards by perhaps an inch. Lithuania was slightly surprised but calmly used one hand and gave Warsaw a firm push in return, causing him to stumble back several steps. He instantly regretted his actions as he knew there was no way Warsaw would leave it at that.

Warsaw went straight back for more, this time trying to pin Lithuania's arms to his sides whilst trying to make the nation topple over. The capital was easily the most annoying person he'd ever met. Now agitated, Lithuania immediately put Warsaw in a headlock and considered how best to choke him without killing him.

"Not again..." Sealand groaned. They were both being so stupid! Then he felt Hungary brush past him.

"Both of you stop it immediately!" Hungary was beginning to sound peeved as she tried to squeeze between the men and push them apart, both of whom were completely ignoring her.

From Sealand's point of view, the three adults appeared to be forming a tight huddle, similar to those he'd seen on many sports fields but the inner circle was a mess of tangled limbs as Warsaw jostled with Lithuania while Hungary tried to separate them both.

Though it was a struggle, Hungary gritted her teeth and managed to shoulder her way in between them and press the palm of her hands directly in the centre of both men's chest. "Stop it..." Hungary growled. "NOW!" She ordered before releasing one huge surge of energy to drive the men apart. Both Warsaw and Lithuania fell back over from the sheer force of the push but quickly sat back up, though stunned, wondering what had hit them. It still didn't even register that Hungary was stood in between them; the second they locked eyes on each other again, they hurried back to their feet to continue where they had left off. Hungary wasn't going to let that happen.

"SIT!" She yelled, even louder than before.

Warsaw, Lithuania and even the innocent, now bewildered, Sealand immediately hit the ground hard and sat gawping at her.

"Stay where you are..." Hungary's eyes dared them to disobey her. "That is, unless you'd like me to knock your heads together so hard you'll be sharing the same neck."

They all sat and watched her warily, like school children being confronted by the most frightening headmaster imaginable.

Hungary's eyes fell on Sealand. She'd forgotten he was there. "Oh! Not you, Sealand, dear. You can move if you want."

Sealand decided to take up her offer quickly, in case Hungary lost it again and forbade him from moving later on. He shuffled forward on his backside until settled on a site exactly between Warsaw and Lithuania. Eventually, Sealand sat up straight and bravely raised his hand to ask a question.

"Yes, Sealand?" Hungary was a little bemused by his actions which she felt were unnecessary. Obviously she was unaware of just how terrifying she could be.

"Can we still talk?" He asked.

"Yes... As long as there is no name-calling or arguing... no hostility of any kind, Varsó" She added after noticing Warsaw glaring daggers at Lithuania.

"Yes..." Warsaw hissed through his teeth. The only way to avoid making ugly expressions towards Lithuania, Warsaw decided, was to not look at him at all so he turned his back on Lithuania and stared moodily at a tree instead. Warsaw tuned out as Sealand began to babble excitedly to Hungary about how strong she must be. The idle chatter, warm sun and fresh air surrounding him with the scent of flowers and pine coaxed Warsaw to begin to calm down. The scenery also helped; trees, trees and more trees, grass and flowers... they were dulling his brain. He glanced back at Hungary.

"By the way..."Warsaw said suddenly. "You're looking as lovely as ever, Węgry." It was an off the cuff remark and an honest compliment. He didn't see Hungary as often as he would like but she seemed to get prettier each time they met.

Lithuania rolled his eyes. "Kiss ass..." He muttered underneath his breath so Hungary wouldn't hear him.

Hungary beamed. "Now Varsó-honey, you might as well switch off the charm because it doesn't work on me."

"Gross!" Sealand declared. Now he was disgusted with Warsaw; how could he say something like _that_ to a _girl _and not be ashamed? "Girls carry diseases, you know!" Surely everyone knew that!?

_How sweet..._ Hungary hid her smile behind her hand. Hungary found it amusing because she could imagine herself saying the exact same thing when she was his age, way back when she'd truly believed herself to be male.

"You are going to die a virgin." Warsaw calmly informed Sealand. It was decided.

"Is that kind of talk necessary?" Lithuania sighed.

"Why do you fight all the time?" Sealand asked suddenly, changing the topic.

"Yes, why don't you get on?" Hungary also wanted to know. It was something both Warsaw and Poland refused to discuss with her so she suspected there was a legitimate reason behind Warsaw's animosity toward Lithuania but she couldn't figure out what it was. Since Warsaw was rattled by Lithuania's presence, she thought there was a chance that today he might be goaded into accidentally revealing the reason although she'd prefer it if it could be done without the two of them fighting.

"Given your history, I would like to think that the bonds between you would be stronger." Hungary continued.

"What history?" Sealand inquired, wriggling excitedly. He was genuinely interested and liked hearing stories about the past. This seemed like it would be an especially good tale.

"Well, Lengyelország...what?" Hungary paused when she caught the horrified look on Sealand's face.

" Węgry, the brat only knows English names..." Warsaw shot over his shoulder.

"Ah... Poland then?" Sealand looked relived so she continued. "Poland and Lithuania were kind of married once." It was a really dumbed down explanation but the simplest way she could think of describing the commonwealth to a child.

Warsaw wheeled around. "Do not refer to the commonwealth as a marriage!"

"So..." Sealand began then paused as he gave it some more thought. "Does that make Lithuania Warszawa's step-dad or something?" He'd seen similar storylines on many TV shows.

"He's not my father!" Warsaw spluttered. "Where'd you pull that idea from!?"

_Out of the mouths of babes..._ That old idiom came to mind as Hungary tried not to laugh at them both but it was really hard not to. _Wait..._ Mentioning the commonwealth had set Warsaw off again. Hungary quickly gathered her thoughts together. If she remembered rightly, Warsaw became Poland's capital a few decades after the beginning of the Polish-Lithuania commonwealth. Hungary believed that she'd discovered the foundations of Warsaw and Lithuania's stormy relationship but knew she was a missing a significant portion of the story.

"You were opposed to the union, Varsó?" Hungary wondered aloud.

She took Warsaw's frosty silence as a 'yes' and then asked him "What about it bothered you specifically?"

"The whole 'being with Litwa' part" He replied, his voice dripping with disdain.

"Because...?" Hungary tried prompting him to divulge a bit more information.

"Because I don't like him." Warsaw said simply.

Hungary almost collapsed. Warsaw was being _sooo_ difficult today.

"Why didn't you tell Lengyelország how you felt at the time? I'm sure he wouldn't have forced you to be his capital."

"He knew." Warsaw replied coolly.

"What?" Hungary blinked in surprise. "And he chose you as his heart anyway?" Why was it starting to sound like Poland had selected Warsaw purely because he hated Lithuania? Why would he do that? It would make sense if Poland disliked Lithuania as well but that didn't sound right...

Lithuania decided to join the conversation. "See how senseless that is? In my opinion, he should've kept Krokuva as his heart. I asked him why he picked Varšuva an..."

"Because I kick ass!" Warsaw interrupted him."Polska couldn't rely on Kraków, he'd become weak of body and will. He was a 'yes-man.'" He offered a silent apology to Kraków for his remarks; had the former capital been around to hear it he would certainly have given him a thrashing. Even though he was probably the most ideal candidate for the role, Kraków had _hated_ being the capital and all the unwanted attention it had brought him.

Lithuania frowned. " It's not unreasonable to expect obedience from your own capital..."

Warsaw switched off at that point; he wasn't interested in listening to Lithuania lecturing him. What did the Baltic state know of the conditions he'd met to become Poland's heart? Nothing. And did he have an inkling of the special bond he had forged with Poland? No. It was a secret after all...

The truth was Poland had chosen him for all the things Lithuania found most annoying about him; he was headstrong, confrontational and willing to disobey anyone, including his own country if necessary. Though he generally only did the latter if he felt it was in Poland's best interests. Poland wanted a heart who was fiercely loyal, would not be swayed by anyone and could even speak for him should he lose his freewill or his mind had become compromised. In those situations, Warsaw could take over and put on the brakes; he was a safety mechanism.

It was bizarre by anyone's standards but then Poland had always been an odd individual. He'd also always been a very shy country who preferred to avoid talking to those who were not within his close circle of friends. Although, whether they were friend or foe, Poland wasn't very good at communicating with others and it left him open to exploitation.

He might not have acted like it in front of Lithuania but Poland had initially been very wary of him. Prior to the commonwealth they had been strangers, only occasionally having a fleeting exchange of words here and there during times of turmoil, usually with regards to territorial disputes. The fact that Lithuania had fought against Poland in the past was reason enough for Warsaw to hate him till the end of time. Every one of his brothers and sisters moved on and gradually forgave Lithuania, even Poland did, though somewhere in the back of the country's mind he fretted that his new Baltic partner might push to control more of his lands, more of him. Poland, who never felt as clever as Lithuania and had difficulty speaking for himself in meetings, thought he would lose in a war of words and end up surrendering everything that was his with the stroke of a quill. The risk seemed more palpable as the union of Poland and Lithuania was cemented. Merging two countries could have side effects; their minds blending but one dominating the other was one just potential outcome. If Poland couldn't separate Lithuania's thoughts from his own... he'd be lost.

Poland needed someone to fall back on, to keep him level-headed. If that someone could show Lithuania they were completely untamable, all the better. So he choose Warsaw, the most headstrong, anti-Lithuanian and potentially influential settlement his lands had to offer, to be his hardened heart. Poland also forged an unnatural link between himself and Warsaw so that on occasion it was possible for his heart to literally rule his head. Sometimes Warsaw controlled what Poland said and did and it was so obvious at times he wondered how no one seemed to notice. Like the time Russia attacked the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth and dragged Lithuania away and all Poland did was lay in the snow and laugh. That wasn't Poland, that was Warsaw. The time Poland phoned Lithuania, threatening to flatten him, again, that was Warsaw. He had abused his powers on many occasions in order to have a little fun at the risk of ticking off Poland but to him it was worth it; he always enjoyed causing trouble for Lithuania. Ah, had he finished talking yet?

Warsaw tuned back in at an inappropriate time, discovering that Hungary was discussing Poland and Lithuania's 'personal' life. "So did Varsó ever pop out while you were _doing it_. Back when you were... er... more intimately involved?" She wished Sealand weren't around so she could talk normally and avoid using such flowery speech.

Warsaw's eyes narrowed dangerously. This was where the conversation had gone? Then again, he shouldn't be surprised... Hungary took a great interest in people's relationships, particularly if the couple consisted of two men and she especially liked to pry into Poland's love life.

"Were? How do you know we're no longer intimate?" Lithuania didn't know why he said it. A voice in the back of his mind screamed at him not to but he ignored it in favour of attempting to wind-up Warsaw. Perhaps there was a masochistic side to him that enjoyed the predictable results of poking a wild tiger with a stick.

"What does that mean?" Warsaw demanded though he thought he had a pretty good idea.

The corners of Lithuania's lips curled upwards into a slight smile.

"I'll kill you!" Warsaw raved, getting up to punch Lithuania's lights out but before he'd even managed to take a single step forward, he fell face first into the ground as something heavy collided with him.

"Got you!" Warsaw heard an all too familiar voice shout into his ear. "I'm not letting you go ever again!" The voice promised. Any further attempts to escape would probably be futile for this time his captor was, of course, Poland.

"Polska!" Warsaw spluttered with a mouth full of grass as he writhed about on the floor, squished beneath his own country. Poland was no lightweight either.

Poland ignored Warsaw's attempts to wriggle free of him and wrapped his arms around his captive. The more Warsaw struggled, the more Poland snuggled, coiling around his heart like a boa constrictor and squeezing him tightly, treating Warsaw to his own unique brand of affection that was solely restricted to the capital he so loved to smother and tease. The hugging and squeezing culminated in one final act of affection; a loud, sloppy kiss to the capital's cheek. "Mwaaah!"

Warsaw's face flamed. "Polska! No hugging! No kissing! WHERE ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?!" Warsaw renewed his attempts to buck Poland off. "Everyone is watching!"

Poland stopped his exuberant display of affection briefly to ask "Want have you done to your hair?" He grabbed the half-finished braid and wagged it from side to side like a dog's tail before nuzzling against Warsaw's face and playfully nipping at his ear.

"ARGH!" Warsaw screamed in disgust and frustration.

France and Spain stood nearby, breathing hard from exertion, having just managed to catch up with Poland to find him doing... this...

"I don't think this is appropriate viewing..." Spain panted, still trying to catch his breath. Contrary to his words, Spain actually found it fascinating to see Poland behaving in such a way, given how reserved he usually was around everyone. He recalled France once telling him that Poland could be quite daring, having apparently once stripped naked of his own accord along with France, England, America and Lithuania. The most intriguing part of the tale was they were very drunk at the time... but Poland was not.

Spain looked to Lithuania and Hungary to see their reaction to Poland's molestation of his own heart. Lithuania's expression suggested he was completely indifferent to the way Poland behaved with his capital; it appeared as though had seen it all before so many times that it now no longer shocked or interested him. Hungary seemed to be lamenting in the absence of her video-camera.

Though he was relatively indifferent about it now, it had taken Lithuania some time to come to terms with the odd displays of affection Poland afforded Warsaw. However it looked to the others, Lithuania had learned to his relief that the things Poland did were perfectly innocent and carried no sexual element. He had tried to explain to Poland that the way he sometimes touched others could be deemed inappropriate and how it could be misconstrued but the blond ignored him and justified his behaviour by saying his 'Poland Rule' was in effect so it was acceptable. How Lithuania hated that rule.

What Lithuania found most incomprehensible about Poland was how determined he usually was to have everything his own way, that he liked to order everyone around and create nonsense rules and yet he didn't believe in disciplining any of his towns and cities, usually leaving them to resolve any disputes they had on their own. Many of their arguments seemed to revolve around two things; their own self-importance and a desire to have command over the others. He had once witnessed them trying to establish a hierarchy amongst themselves by holding a competition which was quite like the Olympic Games but tested their strength, intellect and leadership qualities. Apparently, being the heart or mind of Poland did not guarantee an elevated position in the hierarchy as even Kraków and Warsaw had gotten involved. What began as a friendly competition quickly turned to petty squabbling and ended in an all out brawl. Lithuania had hurried off to fetch Poland and when they returned they were met with a mountain of towns and cities piled on top of one another, with Kraków at the top of the heap.

Lithuania liked Kraków; he seemed to share Lithuania's sentiment that Warsaw needed a firm hand to keep him in check and had no qualms about giving Warsaw a whack round the head when he got out of line. He understood that Kraków was no angel and at times he could be just as troublesome as Warsaw but on the whole he acted much older than his years and was more responsible around the younger towns and cities. Lithuania frequently reminded Poland of those qualities and often suggested he make Kraków his heart again but Poland wouldn't hear of it so they were left with the tearaway city of Warsaw who scarcely accepted any boundaries and was never disciplined for pushing them.

"Lenkija, what are you doing?" Lithuania said dryly. _Stop rewarding him with cuddles and AT LEAST scold him, for God's sake!_ He wanted to scream but managed to keep a lid on it out of consideration for Poland and his audience.

Poland glanced up at Lithuania and seemed to understand what he was thinking.

"Oh yeah..." Poland looked sheepish, having been reminded that Warsaw's behaviour today had been far from exemplary. Whatever must the other nations think of him now? He couldn't be seen as the only country that would let their capital defy them and get away with it. With a hint of sorrow, Poland reluctantly decided to punish Warsaw for the first time in his life.

Quick as a flash, he got to his feet, hauled Warsaw onto his own and then led him to a nearby bench. There he sat down, bent Warsaw down over his knee and delivered several swift spanks to the capital's rump. "You" *whack* "Are" *whack* "totally" *whack* "Grounded!" "Bad, Warszawa! Bad!" Poland finally admonished his capital before letting him slink off to rub his now sore behind.

Not one of the other nations was convinced that Poland was truly annoyed with Warsaw or that he intended to carry out the rest of his punishment; they quickly came to the conclusion that it was all for show and Poland was a terrible actor. They did, however, accept that he had just genuinely spanked a man almost equal to him in height right in front of them. France and Spain simply stood with their mouths hanging open, lost for words. Hungary, quite frankly, was a little turned on.

Sealand, meanwhile, was cringing, not because of what had just happened to Warsaw, but because England had arrived just in time to witness the spectacle and now that he'd been spotted by his brother, he expected he'd be lucky to get away with just a few spankings himself.

England tried not to look too perturbed by the way Poland handled his capital and intentionally ignored them as he walked straight over to his younger brother to give him a stern talking to. "Just for pushing me in the pond earlier, you are going to bed at 6:00pm tonight. No TV."

"Is that it?" Sealand asked hopefully. He'd gotten off lightly.

"No. You're also grounded until you're a thousand." England glowered down at him. "And perhaps more... It would depend on what else you have done today?" England waited, expecting an answer that would not be to his liking.

Sealand hesitantly looked over to Lithuania whom he had assaulted earlier. Lithuania simply stared back at him with the most feigned oblivious expression on his face and said nothing.

Lithuania wasn't going to tell on him? Sealand breathed a sigh of relief and choose to save his own skin by lying to his brother. "I've just been playing with Warszawa all day..."

For once, Warsaw had a tiny bit of respect for Lithuania; it was very generous of him not to get the kid into more trouble. Then something dawned on him. "Hey, wait a minute..." He moved closer to Lithuania to whisper harshly in his ear. "He's done worse to you today than what I normally do and you're letting him get away with it and leaving me to take all the blame!?"

"Pretty much..." Lithuania gave him a lopsided smile. Warsaw growled at him.

"What are you whispering about?" Poland inquired as he crept up on Warsaw and tickled his sides from behind.

"Nothing!" Warsaw yelped, leaping out of reach.

Poland glowered at him. "Where's your rosary?"

"In my pocket..."

"Why is it in your pocket?" Poland pressed further. As far as he knew, Warsaw only removed the necklace when he was involved in a fight...

Warsaw didn't answer but got out the item and put it back round his neck.

"Look at the state of you... Have you been rolling around in the dirt?" Poland sounded disapproving.

The other countries stared on, struggling to keep the expressions on their faces neutral. The way Poland also babied his capital was quite amusing. Warsaw did not share their amusement and he didn't know which was worse; Poland embarrassing him by walloping his behind in front of everyone or Poland's attempts to 'mother' him. He only hoped that Poland wouldn't pull out a handkerchief and spit in it so he could wipe his face clean.

"It's Litwa's fault..." Warsaw grumbled. "He attacked me!"

Poland recalled the pressure he'd felt in his chest earlier. "That was you?!"

"You just did the same thing I did to him!" Lithuania tried to defend himself.

"It's different when I do it! He's mine!" Poland countered. Then he turned rapidly to face Warsaw, arms outstretched. "Come here, baby!"

It looked like he wanted to smother him with cuddles again so Warsaw had to decline. "NO!" "That's it! I'm handing in my resignation! Someone else can be the capital, I don't care! It can even be Cieszanów!" He was about to make a break for it but Lithuania must have predicted what he would do because the nation was now stood behind him, ready to put him in another headlock.

Now might be an appropriate time to seal Warsaw back inside him, Poland decided.

"Umm..."Poland started, suddenly feeling shy again as he turned to address the other nations. "May I be excused from the meeting this evening? I need to cram him back inside me."

The other nations nodded their heads in unison.

"Of course, Pologne. I will suggest that all meetings be cancelled until further notice." France assured him.

"I'll come with you and help shove him back in." Lithuania offered, smiling brightly. He couldn't wait for the capricious capital to be confined once more. Warsaw scowled at him.

"Yeah, that'd be great Liet." Poland said as he pulled Warsaw away from the crowd. "C'mon, you."

As the trio traipsed past Sealand, he gave Warsaw a small sad wave; his eyes looked glassy. _Aww man..._ Warsaw really couldn't handle people crying.

"Hey brat, save your tears for when I'm dead." Warsaw quipped, deadpan.

"I wasn't crying!" Sealand protested.

"And you owe me an apology! It's _your_ fault I got caught. This better not happen next time." Warsaw grinned at him.

It took him a moment to register what Warsaw had just said. He intended to find a way out of Poland again? And it sounded like he wanted to hang out with him again too! Sealand smiled brightly and waved Warsaw off properly this time. The capital coolly raised his arm as a simple goodbye; his image was still important to him despite Poland's efforts to cause him embarrassment.

"I'll see you around, kid." Warsaw gave a final call before being escorted back inside the building to be discreetly returned to his rightful place inside Poland.

Feeling bright as a summer morning, Sealand skipped back over to the remaining nations who were chattering excitedly amongst themselves and tried to join in but his voice was not heard and it was instantly obvious to him that he was going to be left out of their conversations again. Sealand scuffed at the grass and wandered off a short distance, wondering if there was even a slight chance England might forget to send him to bed early when all of a sudden a deep rumbling echoed through the surrounding hills.

Sealand sprang around to face the others and it was apparent that they'd heard the noise too and were equally unsure of what was causing it. Each of the nations stood stock still, staring worriedly into each others faces, each of them wondering what could be happening.

"That noise... couldn't be from Polonia could it? You know... as he absorbs Varsovia?" Spain asked France, the only country he thought might know, whether from experience or his general knowledge of the others.

France opened his mouth to answer then thought better of it. His initial response was going to be 'no' but he couldn't be certain that was correct answer.

"Sealand! Get back here." England ordered over the increasing volume. "You're too far a..."

The sound of trees cracking and being crunched up interrupted him as out of the tree line, a large figure of a man appeared.

It was Russia, his long coat flapping about his legs as he marched towards them. The other countries weren't sure if they should be relieved or not... Russia was carrying a machine gun in each hand and had several more, plus his trademark metal pipe, strapped to his body. He strode towards them with a delighted smile on his face. The trees he'd just emerged from suddenly collapsed as following close behind him was a Panzer 68 Swiss Army tank. That explained the noise though not how Russia had managed to acquire one without all of Switzerland being up in arms. The tank shuddered to a stop and fell silent as the engine was killed and a few moments later, Belarus poked her head out of the door on the top.

"Hello, all." Russia announced cheerily. "Have you perhaps seen Varshava, or Warsaw if you prefer, wandering around? I am ready to put him away."

There was no doubt that by 'put him away' Russia meant bury him six feet under.

"He's back with Poland now, Russia." England informed the war ready nation.

Russia's face fell, as did the weapons he was carrying.

"I told you we shouldn't have stopped for doughnuts, brother." Belarus commented as she inspected her own weapon, a bored expression on her face. She appeared to be quite uninterested in what they were doing. Stealing the tank and steering it up the mountainside had been quite a chore and she wouldn't have bothered doing it had Russia not been so keen.

"But Amerika said they were nice... and they were nice... but now I feel angry with Amerika." Russia sulked. America had delayed him by tempting him with sugary snacks and now he'd missed out on a rare opportunity to bully Warsaw.

"Would you like us to go back and run him over with this?" Belarus patted the vehicle she was controlling. She personally had nothing against America but also cared not if Russia wanted to flatten him. At least driving the tank back downhill would be a relatively easier task and she'd get to spend more quality time with her usually reluctant brother.

A smile returned to Russia's face. "That would be nice." He hopped onto the tank. "Take us back into town."

Belarus disappeared inside and the engine rumbled back into life. Then the tank was not so carefully turned around; the main gun almost knocking off the heads of the small crowd of nations as the vehicle found its tracks and began to follow its own trail of destruction back into town.

England looked conflicted for a moment before releasing a frustrated noise. "I'm going to have to warn America." Next he turned to France. "See that Sealand gets to bed and stays there!" It was unusual for England to leave Sealand in someone else's care and he'd rather it wasn't France watching his kid brother for him but he didn't know Hungary and Spain well enough for him to be able to trust them with Sealand.

Sealand remembered something important, something he simply must tell someone before France sent him to his room. He rushed over to Hungary and yanked urgently on her uniform to quickly get her attention. Then he motioned for her to bend down so he could whisper something into her ear. "We locked Austria in a cabinet and I don't remember which room he's in..."

"Don't worry, I'll find him." Hungary whispered back, smiling. "And get him to buy me a new video-camera as a thank-you gift!" Her eyes twinkled as she realized she could extort a shiny new video-camera out of Austria in exchange for saving him.

"I have things to do, so I'll see you all later!" She skipped back off towards the building to rescue her beleaguered ex, leaving Sealand with Spain and France.

"Come along Sealand and remind me where the room you are staying in is. Would you like me to tell you a bedtime story when we get there?" France offered kindly. France was actually good with children... who still wanted to be treated like children. Sealand was not one of those kids.

"I'm not five!" Sealand sassed.

"Gah! You're his brother, alright! Not cute at all!" France cried dramatically.

Hungary, who was still just within earshot, chuckled to herself and began to imagine what Sealand would be like as an adult. Heaven help them all if when Sealand got older he had the same level of maturity as Prussia and then allied himself with Warsaw. Hungary decided she would have to intervene should such an event occur in the future.

* * *

England returned to their private accommodation hours later with a limp instead of America. It was a relief to find that the meeting scheduled for that evening had been cancelled per France's request but England was quite annoyed upon discovering that France had also succeeded in getting Sealand to go to bed early and stay there without a hint of protest. This was something he almost always struggled to get Sealand to do back home.

That ticked England off alright, but not as much as the injury he'd sustained while trying to look out for America. To think he'd raced down that retched mountainside and spent hours searching high and low for America, desperate to find him before Russia did, only to discover the pair of them happily pigging out in a McDonald's! Apparently Russia's forgiveness could be bought with a Happy Meal, or twenty, as it took to satisfy someone Russia's size. The two adult nations had been racing the kid's toys that came with the meals, ignoring the harassed staff's pleas not to, and of course England managed to slip on one of the discarded toys and had probably sprained his ankle.

Hobbling back to his own room, he had a chance encounter with Austria and Hungary who were busy comforting Switzerland. He didn't catch most of the details but it appeared that Belgium, Monaco, Taiwan, Seychelles and Ukraine had reacted badly to Switzerland pointing a gun in their faces and berating them for 'stealing Lichtenstein's innocence' as he put it and the girls had responded by twisting both his rifle and a very specific part of his anatomy into a knot. England then counted himself lucky that that evening he was coming away with only an injured foot as he turned in for the night.

* * *

Life the next day could almost be described as normal, well normal by the nation's standards.

The day's meetings had to be postponed because Poland slept in and couldn't be roused until way past noon. Lithuania said the blame lie with Warsaw; it was five o'clock in the morning before Warsaw finally acquiesced and allowed himself to be settled back inside Poland. In the end, Poland had to resort to bribery and only the promise of a new football stadium and an outdoor ice skating rink managed to appease the capital. The lengthy negotiation had meant a disrupted night's sleep for all three of them but Lithuania had still managed to rise at a relatively early hour that day and headed straight out to buy a couple of things for Poland.

When Poland woke, Lithuania presented him with an electronic tag for Warsaw, believing Poland had seriously wanted one yesterday. It was non-intrusive and would allow Poland to know where Warsaw was at all times; the next time Warsaw did a runner, they'd be able to track him down with ease. Lithuania also managed to find a shock collar which he sort of bought as a joke because he knew Poland would never use it on Warsaw, even if it only delivered a tiny little sting, but a part of him hoped that if he managed to get the collar to Kraków, the former capital might also feel inclined to use it on Warsaw.

Poland refused both items and vowed never to speak to Lithuania again. That vow lasted twenty minutes.

Later that afternoon, Poland curiously allowed England to try his hand at placing several magical incantations and seals on him which England said would keep Warsaw contained for at least five hundred years. Given England's low success rate with every other spell he had attempted in the past, every nation doubted they would work but said and did nothing.

If the countries managed to achieve anything at all during this particular summit meeting, it was an increase in animosity coming from Switzerland who, based on the events of just one day, declared that none of them would be welcome inside his territory ever again.

* * *

As the nation's lives were full of adventures and crazy happenings, those that were directly involved in the capture of Poland's heart or had heard about it from witnesses, soon forgot about the day Warsaw got loose and almost managed to indirectly ruin the World Summit Meeting of 2011. But not Sealand. To this day, whenever he is alone and bored, he draws up several plans to help Warsaw escape and maintain his freedom. Warsaw, meanwhile, happily spends his days with his brother and sister cities, secretly biding his time, waiting for an opportunity to step back out into the world.

**The End.**

* * *

**AN:**

**Translations of the names of the countries and their capitals. **

**Polish** – Warszawa (Warsaw), Polska (Poland), Litwa (Lithuania), Węgry (Hungary), Rosja (Russia), Ukraina (Ukraine), Łotwa (Latvia), Szwajcaria (Switzerland)

**Lithuanian** – Varšuva (Warsaw), Lenkija (Poland), Krokuva (Kraków), Veñgrija (Hungary), Latvija (Latvia), Anglija (England)

**French** – Pologne (Poland), Lituanie (Lithuania), Angleterre (England), Londres (London), Espagne (Spain)

**Hungarian** – Varsó (Warsaw), Lengyelország (Poland)

**Spanish** – Varsovia (Warsaw), Polonia (Poland), Lituania (Lithuania), Londres (London)

**Russian** – Varshava (Warsaw), Amerika (America)

**Ukrainian** - Pol'shcha (Poland)

(Yes, I avoided using Russia and Ukraine's Cyrillic alphabets and wrote the names as they are pronounced instead. *flees*)

***Seychelles** - Official languages are French and English which I've already covered.

***Monaco** - Official language is French, again, already covered.

***Belgium** – Litouwen (Lithuania). Has three official languages, I've used Dutch.

**A few things...**

Since I mentioned it, Warsaw hasn't always been Poland's capital. The following have previously been the capital of Poland: Kraków (three times), Gniezno, Poznań and Płock while Lublin and Łódź have acted as de facto capitals. Kraków is older than Warsaw and was the capital of Poland for almost 500 years (spread across three periods). Warsaw is also a recurring capital city due to many reorganizations of Poland's territory and is catching up to Kraków in the number of years it has served as the capital city.

Warsaw: "_NO!" "That's it! I'm handing in my resignation! Someone else can be the capital, I don't care! It can even be Cieszanów!" _

Cieszanów – A small town in Poland. With a population of less than 2,500, it is not quite ready to be a capital city yet, Warsaw. I'm sorry, but you'll have to stay in your job.

Warsaw: "_No way. I don't play pranks on girls... well, maybe I do a little... but only around Easter and because it's a tradition."_

Here he is referring to Śmigus-Dyngus Day which is celebrated on Easter Monday. Traditionally, boys throw buckets of water at girls or uses twigs or sticks to switch their legs and the girls are allowed to get revenge on the boys on Easter Tuesday. Not sure if this tradition is still commonly observed in Poland or not though.

**A Headcanon or two!**

I wonder if I'm alone in thinking that Poland appears to have multiple personalities in the series. I think it is most notable where Lithuania is involved; sometimes Poland seems very protective of Lithuania but on other occasions he doesn't seem to care one bit about him (his response when Russia dragged him away) or even jokes about destroying his country (wanting to drop his entire country on Lithuania's house). From that I came up with the idea that maybe one of his personalities just plain does not like Lithuania and I made that 'personality' Warsaw. I couldn't resist the irony of Warsaw, Poland's heart, the organ we most commonly associate with feelings of love, being the one part of Poland that truly hates Lithuania.

Perhaps a few people will disagree with me having Lithuania fight back when Warsaw provokes him but I HATE seeing Lithuania being portrayed as a trembling wimp all the time both in the series and fanfiction/art. Lithuania is a young man, and mostly a very patient one at that, but I don't think even he would tolerate another male of a 'lower' status than him (by this I mean Lithuania outranks Warsaw purely because he is a country and Warsaw is only a capital), being up in his face all the time, challenging him to a fight.

Thanks for reading.


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